How Can I Avoid Gendered Baby Gifts?
Hello! You’ve helped me before and I’m hoping you’ll help me again. I’m currently 15 weeks pregnant, and my husband and I are going to find out the sex of the baby around United States Thanksgiving. We’ve already decided to find out, and that we’ll just tell everyone. No “gender reveal” parties are in our future because with the holidays, we’re highly likely to be completely partied out, among other reasons.
The question is, is it possible to completely stop gendered clothing, toys, and so on if we do tell? Most of my family and most of his are on board with the non-gendered baby clothing objective, mainly because we may want to have more than one child, and it would be nice to be able to reuse SOME things.
Also, I don’t see colors as inherently gendered, but many gender-specific items have gross messages. Is it possible to specify on, for example, baby shower invites that we’d prefer non-gendered gifts?
Manage your own expectations re: others embracing your Gender-Neutral Objectives
The short answer is no, it’s not really possible to completely stop gendered baby clothing, toys, etc. Particularly if you are announcing your baby’s biological sex before the birth — our society is still very much hard-wired to hear It’s a Boy/Girl! and run for the nearest gender stereotype on the clothing rack.
And while it’s a noble objective that I am 100% supportive of, it’s also one that will drive you 100% batty if you try to enforce it across the board. So it’s best to simply accept that you can’t really dictate other people’s generosity and you’re going to get some of that stuff, and that’s okay. That’s what gift receipts and the Goodwill are for.
Baby shower invites and gift etiquette regarding requests
It’s considered rude and gauche to include ANY references to baby gifts on party and shower invites (and yes, I am going to die on this particular etiquette hill; feel free to give me a push and roll me off after my corpse is cold), so no, you should not explicitly put a request for non-gendered gifts on the invitation.
Ideas for how to suggest to guests your preference for gender-neutral baby items
What you CAN do, on the other hand, is:
1) opt for gender-neutral invitations that make no mention of the baby’s sex,
2) load up your baby registry to the brim with your preferred non-gendered items, and
3) have your shower host or hostess aware and informed of your preference, and then field any and all guest questions.
“Do they know what they’re having?”
“Yes! It’s a boy/girl. But we’re requesting guests bring all gender-neutral baby items anyway; they’d like to have things to reuse for future babies!!”
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